Lifestyle change continued.... still "pumped about it"

Yes, I am still pumped about it...  not just the numbers, but that I am feeling good about it.  The food is delicious!  There are no cravings.  I eat when I'm hungry, stop when I'm full.  No counting calories, or measuring portions, or anything special to eat or drink...  just good food...  delicious food.

I am liking the numbers also.  Since October 13th, 2015 I have lost 43 pounds.  I am not measuring inches lost...  but I can tell you that I have gone from a 28 blouse size to a 22...  and a 24 jean size to a 20.  Oh yeah, that is huge for me.  I am so "pumped" about that.

Some other numbers are great, too.  My A1C is normal, no more glipizide for diabetes.  My cholesterol has gone down from 248 to 170.  My blood pressure is "perfect".

So, this lifestyle change is continuing... it is so much easier than I had anticipated.  17 more to go...  God and I have got this...

Philippians 4:13

From the beginning...

Okay, so I have updated you along the way of how things are going...  but now I feel the need to start at the beginning...  some of you have heard it all before...  but you haven't really...  this is more about how I dealt with it than what has been going on.

I started having the health concerns mid June...  I figured I was just tired and stressed.  Yeah, that was it...  but when it persisted into a couple of weeks, I was beginning to think that something was seriously wrong.  I really thought that with my gasping for air, and my breathing "hiccups", and pounding in my chest that I had something terribly wrong.  I was scared...  really scared.

You see both of my parents had lung diseases...  I had watched my mother gasp for a breath of air through the years of her illnesses...  and watched my father suffer with his treatments for lung cancer.  Both cruel diseases.

I was scared!  I wanted to be prepared for whatever was going to happen.  I called my doctor for an appointment to see him...  called my attorney and set up an appointment to make all the final arrangements so that everything would be prepared for the inevitable.

I cried, I withdrew, I was afraid....  I could do nothing, I felt useless...  I pleaded with God, I argued with God, I bargained with God...

I could do nothing...  I couldn't play with our "little men", I couldn't walk across the room...  I couldn't cook and clean up my mess in the kitchen...  I couldn't do the laundry...  I did nothing...  I WAS USELESS!!!
What could I do?  Lord, I need answers...  what is going on?

And then I started to read...  The Bible...  really read it... taking to heart everything...  the best I could...  I began to realize that God had not left me, I had been trying to do it on my own...  it was okay for me to cry out to him...  but I didn't need to be afraid because He had everything under control...  that was and is a hard one...  I wasn't useless, I just needed time to heal from whatever was going on...  bargaining with God was not going to help because He had this plan all along...  He was going to use this point in my life for good...  what was or is that good?  I still am not sure...  but I do know that slowing down, saying no, spending more time with Him...  it has been good for me...  I am learning so much...  I am taking one day at a time...  instead of rushing ahead and always being busy...

I still have not had a diagnosis from all the tests, and I am really okay with that... I have met some really nice people..   I have had opportunities to talk with people...  to pray with people...  share my faith with people... I have learned to listen...  not just to their words, but to look into their eyes and maybe see pain or worry that I could relate to...  not to understand what they are going through, or how they are feeling...  no one can do that because we aren't that person...  but to be more sensitive...  to sense the hurt they might be feeling.

My prayer life has also been affected by all this...  it's not about my desires...  but it is asking for forgiveness and seeking God's will in everything...  what a difference that has made in my life.

I am happy to write that I am feeling so much better...  but I still have a bit of a ways to go to get back to "normal", if that is possible.  :)  I can also say that through all of this, I am growing...  I have a long ways to go...  God isn't finished with me yet...  He has the master plan for my life.  I don't need to be afraid or worry...  He has this.  My life is in good hands.

Praising God!!!

Isaiah 41:10 

fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Philippians 4:13 

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Lifestyle change...

I am getting extremely excited about how things are going...  this "lifestyle change" that my cardiologist told me about...  and his goal for me...  I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical at first, but after reading all the materials he gave me I decided why not give it a try...  and so it began October 13th.

The "lifestyle change" was in my eating...  some people call it a diet, but he called it a "lifestyle change", and that is exactly what it is for me.  No more grains of any kind, no more pasta, no fruit, only meats and vegetables that grow above the ground, and I can have mayonaise, hard cheeses, butter, cream cheese, sour cream, anything that has fat!!!  Yep...  a total revamp of my eating habits, and I am loving it!

I have not had any cravings for anything...  I will admit that some things smell really good when baking.... like homemade bread, banana bread, cookies...  but I am not craving or wanting it when it's out of the oven.  I can fill up on what I can have and that is good with me.

So, this is how it's been going.  GREAT!!!  Since starting this new "lifestyle change" I have lost 28 pounds, gone down a size in jeans and tops.  I still have a ways to go to make it to the goal of 60 pounds set by my cardiologist... but I am almost half way there, and my goal of 30 might be reached by New Year's,  if not it's okay because I've got this...  I am enjoying the challenge of finding new ways to cook things, and am finding new recipes that are quite yummy...

So, this "lifestyle change" is great for me...  it's not for everyone...  but I just couldn't hold it in any longer... I'm pumped about it...  yes I am!

Aaaahhhh..... sweet relief.... sort of!

Yes, I am beginning to feel better....  BUT...  I have got to remember that just because I am feeling a little better I still CANNOT do what I could 6 months ago.  A tough weekend...  did way to much last week... and paid the price with a not so great few days.

This is such a BIG learning thing for me.  I still need to take time out, and continue to ask for help with tasks I used to be able to do with no problem...  This is very difficult for me to do.

I don't feel sick...  I just don't have the strength and stamina or breath to do most of those tasks.

Thanking God for the healing that is going on...  physically and spiritually...  and grateful for friends that are willing to lend a hand, and even scold me when I am doing a bit too much.  :)

An update...

Well, it's been a tough and rough 6 months...  but praising God for His strength through it all.  I am happy to report that I am finally feeling some relief...  I think I am finally turning the corner... I have a little more energy...  I am able to do a bit more than I have been able to over these last 6 months.  I can make it up 2 flights of stairs without gasping...  a little tough...  and I was quite slow...  but I made it... I am not planning on doing that very often, yet.  (Found that out when I had to appear for jury selection on Monday.)  Folding laundry is a bit easier...  sheets and towels take a toll, but I can do it now.  Vacuuming takes me FOREVER...  but I have done it.

Praising God today for this improvement, however small...  it means to me that whatever was going on, is finally working itself out.

WAHOO!!!  Yeah, it is BIG news...

Keep praying?  I can certainly still use them...  

And we continue....

Well, it's been just over a month since I blogged last.  More tests and procedures have happened...  and I have nothing new to report except...  my heart is "pristine".  I really liked that report, however had hoped to find a reason for all this stuff going on.  God knows, and I am not going to worry myself with it...

I am just grateful for each day, each minute of each day...  that I have breath, that I am able to get up in the morning....  that I have a God who never leaves me...  that He gives me the strength I need each and every day to make it through.

So, that's it for now.  Just a short update...

The questions....

How ya feelin'?  So, have they figured out what's wrong with you yet?  Have they tested you for...? Hey, I just got this email add about...  maybe you should get tested for that?  Ever thought about changing doctors?  I think you should go to Boston, they will figure it out...  what do you think?  and they go on and on...

I know that everyone means well...  and I do appreciate your concern.  So, I am going to answer your questions here in this blog...   if I can...

How am I feeling?  "I'm okay!"  that's my standard answer.  I don't feel sick, but I am sick.  I tire easily, have to sit a lot after doing much of nothing to rest and catch my breath.  I'm okay...  and I savor every minute of what I can do.

No, they haven't figured anything out..  yet...  but we are working on it.  I have had more blood tests, MRI's, CT scans, ultrasounds, xrays, stress echo's in the last two months than I have had in my lifetime.  Well maybe not, but it sure does seem like it.

Yes, they probably have tested me for that.  They have tested me for so many things that have come back negative that I have lost track...

Changing doctors?  Not a chance...  I am quite confident in mine, and I know that he will send me to whoever I need to go to to figure this out.

And Boston?  Why?  God has gifted these men and women that I am seeing right here in New Hampshire.

Yes, I know that you are only trying to help...  that you are concerned for me.  And I thank you for that.  But instead of the questions, how about sharing a cup of coffee with me and just visit.  Let's get to know one another better.  Let's talk about how God has taken care of us, and share life with one another.  Let's be real?

I have given this over to God to take care of.  I am so grateful for each and every day that I can put my feet on the floor and get out of bed.  Thankful for each and every minute that I get to spend with Him and my family and friends...  to work, to serve, to minister, to be...

I love you all...