Lifestyle change...

I am getting extremely excited about how things are going...  this "lifestyle change" that my cardiologist told me about...  and his goal for me...  I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical at first, but after reading all the materials he gave me I decided why not give it a try...  and so it began October 13th.

The "lifestyle change" was in my eating...  some people call it a diet, but he called it a "lifestyle change", and that is exactly what it is for me.  No more grains of any kind, no more pasta, no fruit, only meats and vegetables that grow above the ground, and I can have mayonaise, hard cheeses, butter, cream cheese, sour cream, anything that has fat!!!  Yep...  a total revamp of my eating habits, and I am loving it!

I have not had any cravings for anything...  I will admit that some things smell really good when baking.... like homemade bread, banana bread, cookies...  but I am not craving or wanting it when it's out of the oven.  I can fill up on what I can have and that is good with me.

So, this is how it's been going.  GREAT!!!  Since starting this new "lifestyle change" I have lost 28 pounds, gone down a size in jeans and tops.  I still have a ways to go to make it to the goal of 60 pounds set by my cardiologist... but I am almost half way there, and my goal of 30 might be reached by New Year's,  if not it's okay because I've got this...  I am enjoying the challenge of finding new ways to cook things, and am finding new recipes that are quite yummy...

So, this "lifestyle change" is great for me...  it's not for everyone...  but I just couldn't hold it in any longer... I'm pumped about it...  yes I am!

Aaaahhhh..... sweet relief.... sort of!

Yes, I am beginning to feel better....  BUT...  I have got to remember that just because I am feeling a little better I still CANNOT do what I could 6 months ago.  A tough weekend...  did way to much last week... and paid the price with a not so great few days.

This is such a BIG learning thing for me.  I still need to take time out, and continue to ask for help with tasks I used to be able to do with no problem...  This is very difficult for me to do.

I don't feel sick...  I just don't have the strength and stamina or breath to do most of those tasks.

Thanking God for the healing that is going on...  physically and spiritually...  and grateful for friends that are willing to lend a hand, and even scold me when I am doing a bit too much.  :)

An update...

Well, it's been a tough and rough 6 months...  but praising God for His strength through it all.  I am happy to report that I am finally feeling some relief...  I think I am finally turning the corner... I have a little more energy...  I am able to do a bit more than I have been able to over these last 6 months.  I can make it up 2 flights of stairs without gasping...  a little tough...  and I was quite slow...  but I made it... I am not planning on doing that very often, yet.  (Found that out when I had to appear for jury selection on Monday.)  Folding laundry is a bit easier...  sheets and towels take a toll, but I can do it now.  Vacuuming takes me FOREVER...  but I have done it.

Praising God today for this improvement, however small...  it means to me that whatever was going on, is finally working itself out.

WAHOO!!!  Yeah, it is BIG news...

Keep praying?  I can certainly still use them...  

And we continue....

Well, it's been just over a month since I blogged last.  More tests and procedures have happened...  and I have nothing new to report except...  my heart is "pristine".  I really liked that report, however had hoped to find a reason for all this stuff going on.  God knows, and I am not going to worry myself with it...

I am just grateful for each day, each minute of each day...  that I have breath, that I am able to get up in the morning....  that I have a God who never leaves me...  that He gives me the strength I need each and every day to make it through.

So, that's it for now.  Just a short update...

The questions....

How ya feelin'?  So, have they figured out what's wrong with you yet?  Have they tested you for...? Hey, I just got this email add about...  maybe you should get tested for that?  Ever thought about changing doctors?  I think you should go to Boston, they will figure it out...  what do you think?  and they go on and on...

I know that everyone means well...  and I do appreciate your concern.  So, I am going to answer your questions here in this blog...   if I can...

How am I feeling?  "I'm okay!"  that's my standard answer.  I don't feel sick, but I am sick.  I tire easily, have to sit a lot after doing much of nothing to rest and catch my breath.  I'm okay...  and I savor every minute of what I can do.

No, they haven't figured anything out..  yet...  but we are working on it.  I have had more blood tests, MRI's, CT scans, ultrasounds, xrays, stress echo's in the last two months than I have had in my lifetime.  Well maybe not, but it sure does seem like it.

Yes, they probably have tested me for that.  They have tested me for so many things that have come back negative that I have lost track...

Changing doctors?  Not a chance...  I am quite confident in mine, and I know that he will send me to whoever I need to go to to figure this out.

And Boston?  Why?  God has gifted these men and women that I am seeing right here in New Hampshire.

Yes, I know that you are only trying to help...  that you are concerned for me.  And I thank you for that.  But instead of the questions, how about sharing a cup of coffee with me and just visit.  Let's get to know one another better.  Let's talk about how God has taken care of us, and share life with one another.  Let's be real?

I have given this over to God to take care of.  I am so grateful for each and every day that I can put my feet on the floor and get out of bed.  Thankful for each and every minute that I get to spend with Him and my family and friends...  to work, to serve, to minister, to be...

I love you all...

An Update...

I had a really good office visit with my doctor Monday.  My appointment was at 11:10am, I got there at 11:00am and was taken right in.  I had written down everything I could think of to talk with him about, questions, thoughts, just about anything that had come to mind.  And he sat there listening, really listening...  answering when he could...   he didn't rush me, he let me take my time and understand some things...  he showed me the test results, let me read them myself  and ...   I looked at the clock when I was leaving, and it was noon time...  an hour.

I got some answers...  not all the answers I had hoped for, but we aren't finished yet either.  We are now testing for Lyme, and I am being scheduled to see a cardiologist.  I am confident that we will get to the bottom of all this...  I would really like it to be now...  but, it isn't.  And that is okay...  I know that God is taking care of me, giving me the strength I need to make it through it all.

It hasn't been an easy 3 months for sure.  Quite a challenge actually.  And every day I wake up I thank God for another day.  He is my refuge and my strength.

I know...

I am tired of feeling like this... I've got to admit that finding joy(James 1:2) in this illness (or whatever it is) hasn't been easy... I do know that I am not in this alone (Isaiah 41:13)... and that "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

I would love to say that we have answers, and that I am well... but I can't. We still have no answers. I am still having the breathing issues... I am doing things much slower, kind of like slow motion so that I can catch my breath in the middle of what I'm doing so that I don't experience the pounding heart like I was... and talking, I have cut back on that too. Yeah, I even run out of air when I'm talking, so sometimes my sentences are stopped mid stream to take a breath... singing, I love to sing... can be quite a chore... but I will be praising Him in song, maybe not as loud as I would like to... I know he hears me even when I whisper.

So even though I haven't gotten any medical answers, except that every test so far says that I am healthy... this is what I do know...

I know that I have been allowed to go through this for some reason... I know it has slowed me down, and that has given me more time to be in His Word, to study and learn and spend more time in prayer and conversation with Him. It has made me stop and think about what's important to me. My priorities and goals have changed over the last 3 months for sure. I'm not rushing from one thing to the next just because I can... I am asking Him for guidance and direction in everything...

I am asking that His will be done in me and through me... I am ready to be used by Him...