Attitude change.

 I thought I would just share a bit about how my attitude has changed since 2017.

Every time I think about what could have happened, I have tears that roll down my cheeks.    I have a love of life that is beyond my wildest dreams, I love my family more than ever, and I love my God more than I ever thought would be possible.  I have made a choice to be more present in this life, in my families life, my church families life.  I'm learning to accept me, my body, and all its flaws.  

In two days (June 13 and 14, 2017) my body went through two traumatic events, a total hip replacement and a stroke.  And I am still here.  I am left with a slight limp from the surgery with one leg being a slight bit longer than the other, and have a loss of eyesight (right side homonymous hemianopsia) from the stroke.  But, I am still here.  I am ready to serve my Jesus in whatever He calls me to, to love on my family whenever and however I can, and to do what I can to share with my church family.

The love I have for my guy just gets deeper and stronger every day.  It's like falling in love with him over and over again.  

Oh, I've had days that I just can't...  just have a pity party...  but then I remember I was spared death for a reason.  God's not done with me yet.  I have a purpose and a mission, and I am going to pursue whatever it is.

There you have it, I've had an attitude adjustment.  And I am loving how it has made me more alive.

This is a short video of the loss of eyesight if you are interested.   https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=homonymous+hemianopsia&docid=608025631137074750&mid=F97D2B24DA9503AA1269F97D2B24DA9503AA1269&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I just read a lesson on this verse written by Liz Curtis Higgs and also watched her video as she broke this verse down...  I am going to share my notes.  


And we know that...  we are well assured, we are confident

in all things...  everything, every detail in our lives, if it matters to us, it matters to God

God works...  God is working on it, He labors on our behalf and gets the job done, always, Whatever mess you're in He's in it with you

for the good...  everything that happens fits into a pattern, God works toward something good and beautiful, He works in our lives, hands on, cleaning, straightening, repairing, overhauling, taking apart, putting back together

of those who love him...  Do you love God?  Do you love Him?  Do you believe what He has for you is for your good?  not a warm happy feeling but, but are you willing to make a commitment, to trust, to sacrifice.  That's the real test of faith.  
My answer?  Yes, Lord!  Whatever You have for me in this life I will receive as a gift of love from Your hands.

who have been called...  we've been called to be saints, the people God chose because that was his plan, summoned

according to his purpose...  in fulfilment of his design, in keeping with his purpose.  
Isaiah 64:8  "We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."


"Once we accept the truth that He is the King of kings..., life becomes more joyful, change becomes more manageable, pain becomes more bearable, hope becomes more certain, and love becomes more real."  Liz Curtis Higgs

I haven't put a title on my little blog here, I'm trying to think of a good one as I type away.  I guess you could say that I am sitting here thinking about the last three years and seeing how God has worked through everything that has happened and everything that is still going on.

I can honestly say that it hasn't been an easy go of it, and there have been some days that have been downright ugly, but I have always been drawn back to who is in control, and it definitely isn't me.

2017 brought a total hip replacement and stroke June 13 and 14.   November 2017 through June of 2018 I went through a bit of depression.  Not really a bit...  I was so sad and frustrated over what I had lost...  or what I thought I had lost...  I didn't see what I had.  2019 I was hospitalized on June 26 with a life threatening blood clot that went from my ankle up into my abdomen.  Being released a few days later with strict orders not to work, rest and elevate.  November 6, 2019 David had blood work and results came back showing high platelets, bone marrow biopsy done, and so many blood tests, lots of visits with the oncologist and another bone marrow biopsy done and on March 6, 2020,  we finally had a diagnosis.  Essential Thrombocythemia.  A bone marrow cancer/disease.  Now we know, what can be done?  Oral chemo medication to get the platelet count down and to a safe place.  It has taken until this last blood test yesterday, August 10, to see it in the acceptable range. 

So why am I sharing all of this?  Because my story, our story, is all in God's plan.  Why is this part of God's plan?  I don't really know.  But I do know that there hasn't been a time that God hasn't been with us.  I may not have looked at it that way all the time, I may have felt left alone and that he wasn't there with me at all.  But, I can say that when I stopped feeling sorry for myself, or for us, when I just stopped and remembered that I am not in control of all things, but God is and was there the whole time.  He hadn't left us...  He was waiting with His arms wide open.

I know without a doubt that what I/we have been through, and even what is to come my/our way, God has it all under control.  And I have to relinquish my control to Him, totally.  I need to surrender it all into His hands.

Romans 8:28  "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

I know this to be true.  I may not be back to 100% from  the stroke or the blood clot, and David still has the bone marrow cancer/disease...  but we are still here, still functioning, still able to work, still able to serve our great God.  I have grown closer and more in love with God through all of this, I have grown more in love with David and life through it all.  I am not taking any minute for granted, and am loving the simplest of things even more.  The time we spend together is more precious, and the simple things of picnics by the rivers and ponds, and stopping to look and smell the flowers along our way...  What a blessing to be able to see, feel, smell, hear, touch all that has been created by our Great God.  Even in the difficult times there is always something to be thankful for.

I give God all the praise, through the good and the not so good.  He is my strength and my refuge.  I know full well that I can't do life without Him.