An Update...

I had a really good office visit with my doctor Monday.  My appointment was at 11:10am, I got there at 11:00am and was taken right in.  I had written down everything I could think of to talk with him about, questions, thoughts, just about anything that had come to mind.  And he sat there listening, really listening...  answering when he could...   he didn't rush me, he let me take my time and understand some things...  he showed me the test results, let me read them myself  and ...   I looked at the clock when I was leaving, and it was noon time...  an hour.

I got some answers...  not all the answers I had hoped for, but we aren't finished yet either.  We are now testing for Lyme, and I am being scheduled to see a cardiologist.  I am confident that we will get to the bottom of all this...  I would really like it to be now...  but, it isn't.  And that is okay...  I know that God is taking care of me, giving me the strength I need to make it through it all.

It hasn't been an easy 3 months for sure.  Quite a challenge actually.  And every day I wake up I thank God for another day.  He is my refuge and my strength.

I know...

I am tired of feeling like this... I've got to admit that finding joy(James 1:2) in this illness (or whatever it is) hasn't been easy... I do know that I am not in this alone (Isaiah 41:13)... and that "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

I would love to say that we have answers, and that I am well... but I can't. We still have no answers. I am still having the breathing issues... I am doing things much slower, kind of like slow motion so that I can catch my breath in the middle of what I'm doing so that I don't experience the pounding heart like I was... and talking, I have cut back on that too. Yeah, I even run out of air when I'm talking, so sometimes my sentences are stopped mid stream to take a breath... singing, I love to sing... can be quite a chore... but I will be praising Him in song, maybe not as loud as I would like to... I know he hears me even when I whisper.

So even though I haven't gotten any medical answers, except that every test so far says that I am healthy... this is what I do know...

I know that I have been allowed to go through this for some reason... I know it has slowed me down, and that has given me more time to be in His Word, to study and learn and spend more time in prayer and conversation with Him. It has made me stop and think about what's important to me. My priorities and goals have changed over the last 3 months for sure. I'm not rushing from one thing to the next just because I can... I am asking Him for guidance and direction in everything...

I am asking that His will be done in me and through me... I am ready to be used by Him...