Subconjuctival Hemmorage. Sounds kind of freaky, huh?. Melissa looked at me this morning and said kind of weird....."Mom, looks like your eye is bleeding, have you looked in the mirror?" My immediate thought about looking in the mirror was.....of course not, I don't want to see me yet.....but I did go and look and oh yeah, it looked as if my eye was bleeding. So with my computer knowledge and webmd I think I have diagnosed the situation quite nicely. I am however not going to take my word on it and I am getting a second opinion this afternoon from an in person doctor. :)
I am enjoying the morning with Maddison and Emmitt...........Maddison and I have read a lot of books already and she has only been here for 2 hours.........breakfast is challenging as all she wants are Grunky's peanuts that she spotted on the table. We have watched Curious George for an hour, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Super Y and I'm not sure what the plan is now. Emmitt is just laying around sleeping and eating and cooing and smiling...........I have soooo much fun with the two of them. Maddison just informed me that Seasme Street is coming on........and the excitement about seeing Elmo, I guess it's time for me to go.
What a great day, enjoy it, rejoice in it and be thankful. I am thankful that I have this day to play, to enjoy the little things in life.

Today is the day. Devotions this morning Proverbs 15. I think I will read it again. Lots of stuff to learn. I am excited to have Bible study this morning with Belinda. We will be having it over facebook chat. We always have a crazy wonderful time when we study together. And our topic is quite appropriate for me as well......Porcupine People: How to Love the Unlovable. Intriguing, huh? It's been a good one for me.......issues keep coming up with my porcupine people. And guess what it means when I say it's Thursday.........uh huh......."Outback"...........oh yeah...........I just love that group of crazy ladies........we have so much fun........we learn so much about each other...........and we learn from the Word.................and we laugh............and we eat.............healthy stuff, not always...........and we share our hearts...........and our lives...............and our concerns............and we cry.............and we hug..............and we pray for each other.............and best of all we can be ourselves..............and we are not judged.............I am so looking forward to tonight.

Enjoy this day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Today I am thankful...........for my "Outback" sista's, all those crazy friends of mine........who hold me accountable and who love me for me. Probably the craziest of them all.........

"If we're going to be able to handle life when it doesn't seem to make sense, we have to get real. We have to set our faces in the right direction and keep walking as He walked. At times the road will be long and dark, the mountains unscalable. Because we're human we won't always make perfect choices. Sometimes it will seem we take two steps forward and one step back, but it doesn't really matter. All that really matters is being on the right road."

How many of us have heard the phrase, "oh, get real"..... I have heard it many times. But never in the context of what Sheila Walsh wrote in her book Life Is Tough But God Is Faithful. This book may have been written in 1999, but it is so applicable to my life right now. Life doesn't make sense.....so many things have happened this past year that sometimes I am so overwhelmed with questions of why, that I forget to turn to the One who has all the answers. I may not get them right when I want them, but He knows every big and little thing that is going on. Why, and there it is again, do I wait until I can't seem to handle it anymore to go to Him, instead of going to Him right from the beginning. And I appreciate Sheila's sentence in the above paragraph that is the answer for me....."Because we're human we won't always make the perfect choices."

I've got to admit that things haven't been all roses and sunshine lately. Health issues of my mother, an uncle with recurring cancer and chemo treatments, an aunt just diagnosed with congestive heart failure, an uncle who committed suicide, family relationships strained, financial concerns because of hours cut, excruciating pain so that I don't want to move, to name a few. But I can have peace because I have Jesus. Praise God!!!! I have to admit that I struggle, that I question, that I let Satan get a foot hold at times, and listen to his voice that I am not good enough, or that I've done something wrong and that the reason I have pain is because of some hidden sin that I haven't confessed(and people have said that directly)... I will not let Satan get a grip on me, I am an adopted daughter of Christ. I will make mistakes, but by the grace and mercy of God I am forgiven.

I am going to set my face on Christ and do my best to walk as He walked and stay on the right road.

Enjoy this day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Today I am thankful............even though it is cold outside, it is warm inside, and not just in the house, but my heart is warmed with the love of Christ.

I had something so profound to blog this morning, or so I thought.....everything that I have been thinking about is somehow being erased from my mind. I have been reading again this morning and realizing a lot about myself from this book. That I don't have to do good things to please God, to make Him love me more, that all I have to do is be His friend.........to seek Him and spend time with Him. My life is filled with doing good things..........not that that is wrong, but do I really take the time with God that He deserves? Do I spend quiet one on one time with Him? I have to admit that my answer is, NO!!!!! I have been struggling with this issue for a loooooong time. Thinking that I am doing what would please Him by doing good things.....when all along what He wants most is for me to spend time with Him. The Mary and Martha thing......Mary chose what was right....Martha, well, Martha was doing what she felt was right. And Jesus response to her grumbling? Martha, Martha......... Oh, I don't want to hear those Sharon, Sharon words.......

Enjoy this day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Today I am thankful.......... that God loves me for me, and not what I do for Him.

I've just started reading the book Life Is Tough But God Is Faithful by Sheila Walsh. I was wondering when I started if it would be a book I could stay interested in.......I don't like to read just to read........but this is a good read. It has in the first couple of chapters really made me stop and think about the things I have had to deal with, the struggles of life........and that sometimes I question God as to why.......Why can't I just remember that whatever I go through in life that God is in control and can use all of it, good and bad, to make me stronger. Duh!!!!!

My devotions this morning certainly made me do a double take in my reading. How many of us love discipline? I know I haven't loved it, but now I have to think of it in a different light. Proverbs 12:1 To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.

"In one sense, this proverb describes two different types of people; those who learn, and those who refuse to learn. The first, the learners, understand and accept the necessity of discipline as part of the learning process. The second, the refusers, ignore and reject correction. The learners decide to love discipline; the refusers decide to hate anything and everything that might offer a good lesson. The learners grow in wisdom; the refusers sink into stupidity."

Wow! Never thought of it that way. Why not? I guess I have thought of discipline as something negative, when in reality it is something to create a positive. to teach, for me to learn right from wrong........who would have thought I could not have understood.........

I want to learn. I will now think of discipline as a learning curve. What is there for me to learn from this?

Dear Lord, please remind me today that when I make my next mistake I have also created a good opportunity to learn. Help me love that!

Enjoy this day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Today I am thankful.......that even at my age I can still learn what God wants for me.