Tuesday, November 21, 2017

So thankful...

It's that time of year that we all have things to be thankful for...  but should it only be this time of year?  Don't we have things to be thankful for every day of the year?  Why do we focus so much attention on the month of November to give thanks?

Scripture says:
"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!"
Psalm 118:1

"...be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ..."
Ephesians 18b-20
                      ALWAYS AND FOR EVERYTHING

"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:18
                       IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES

Oh, I am definitely giving thanks this month...  but not just this month...  it is always.  I have a very long list of things to be thankful for...  the first thing I am thankful for every day of my life, Jesus..   His love, His saving grace, His sacrifice on the cross...  He did that for me...  and He did that for you.  I am forever grateful!!!

There is so so much more that I am thankful for...  oh yes, much more...  every day...  it just overwhelms me how I have been blessed.

David, he is my knight in shining armor.  The love of my life.  He is loving, caring, compassionate.  He is a man of God, honest, hardworking and the list just goes on and on.  God blessed me with this love.

Michelle and Melissa, daughters, true gifts of God.  Both beautiful, smart, loving and compassionate young women, following God's plan for their lives.  My heart overflows with love for them.

Alan, my son by heart...  who came into my life in a big way in 2003.  He is handsome, has a great big heart, makes me smile, he is independent, strong willed, and sees things differently than I do...  but what a joy he is to me, and I love him as if he were my own.

Joel, my son by love...  marrying Michelle in 2008.  A wonderful loving husband and father.  A man of God serving faithfully at their place of worship.  We are blessed to have him a part of our family.

Noah, Isaac, Peter...  3 of the most handsome little men I have ever seen.  Each so different from the other. I didn't think being a Grammie could be so much fun.  Oh how I love them.  3 very precious gifts.  My heart just bubbles up with love for them.

Jimmy...  he came into our lives about 3 years ago.  He is fun loving, witty, thoughtful, a young man who loves God and our Melissa.  He makes my heart smile.

And there are so many others, family and friends.  I am truly thankful for each and every one of you.  My life has been enriched with you in it.

And things?  Our warm cozy home, our jobs, our transportation...  we are so thankful for everything...  God has blessed us with all that we need and so much more.  How can we not be thankful always and for everything?

And in all circumstances?  YES!!!  and in all circumstances.  Life is not always easy.  It can be down right difficult.  I can attest to that...  I think all of us can attest to that...  but I have learned that even in those difficult circumstances God has been there with me.  I may not always think so at the time...  but when I look back on the what if's?  He has brought me through some pretty amazing things, even a brush with death.  It's been a journey of learning for me...  and I know this journey of learning isn't over yet.

So, not just this month but all year long I am thankful.  The blessings, the life gift, the love of Jesus...  I am thankful always and for everything and in all circumstances.  God has been so good to me...  and do I deserve it?  NO!!!  but he loves me that much...

Forever Grateful
You did not wait for me to draw near to You, 
but You clothed Yourself in frail humanity. 
You did not wait for me to cry out to You, 
but You let me hear Your voice calling me.
And I'm forever grateful, Lord, to You. 
And I'm forever grateful for the cross. 
And I'm forever grateful to You, 
that You came to seek and save the lost. 








Tuesday, November 14, 2017

What a glorious day!

It's been one of those days that I just can't say thank you enough to God.  Maybe it's because it's a five month anniversary of the day I had no heartbeat and had a code blue called and then was literally given another chance at life by my God.  Maybe?

Life has taken on a new meaning for me.  I am so grateful for it.  So thankful for it.   God has a plan for me, and I am ready to do whatever whenever.

WOW!!!!  I just love this life He has given me.  It's beautiful!

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Hmmmm.....

I'm trying to figure out what this time of my life is supposed to be about and what God has planned for me. Some days I feel like I’ve lost my purpose, and direction. Yeah, today is one of those days. I know my joy is supposed to be rooted in Christ and not in my circumstances. But today, I am having a hard time handling this time in my life, these circumstances.

Please, I can't do "just one more thing". This is all I've got. So please please, don't ask again.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Be patient with me...

Yeah, I felt the need to write a little more about the affects of my stroke...  It definitely has messed with the wrong chick.  I am not going to let it drive me into the ground.  

Yes, I had a stroke while in the hospital having a total hip replacement June 13th.  I was in a very good place to have it happen.  Definitely had immediate medical care.  They were amazing!

So this is what happened... and this is how I feel at times.  


"Homonymous hemianopsia, or homonymous hemianopia, is hemianopic visual field loss on the same side of both eyes. Homonymous hemianopsia occurs because the right half of the brain has visual pathways for the left hemifield of both eyes, and the left half of the brain has visual pathways for the right hemifield of both eyes. When one of these pathways is damaged, the corresponding visual field is lost."

My homonymous hemianopia is on the right.  
Mobility can be difficult. I have bruises because of it.
I often experience discomfort in crowds. I may be unaware of what or who is on my right.  I most likely won’t see you sitting or standing next to me… don’t get creeped out when I turn my head to look to my right. I have bumped into a wall, taken a corner to sharply and bumped into the railing.  I often have David walk on my right side and hold my hand so that that doesn’t happen.
I’m taking it in stride.  I am doing my very best to be me, the same me I have always been.  But I must admit, that there are days when I get frustrated, when I am tired, when all I want to do is sit back and do nothing.  So if you see me that way, it’s just one of those days, it is not the way I am always. Be patient with me, my brain is still healing, and I am still getting used to this “new way to see”.
All that being said, I am trusting God to take care of me, to guide me in these times.  He can use this time in my life, this disability or sorts, for good.  I am trusting Him to heal me, it may not be the healing of the physical aspect of the vision, but a healing that is beyond that. 
So, I am asking that you be patient with me.  If you think I am acting a bit odd or weird, or seem to have something on my mind…  maybe I do.  Or maybe I am tired. 

I am still recovering.  I am still me.  I am always going to be me.  So. Watch. Out.  Be patient with me.  
If you ask me to participate in something, take charge and I say no, it's because I need to.  Not because I want to.  I need time to heal, time to rest, I'm not physically able to do right now all the things I have done or love to do.  Remember?  I had a total hip replacement too.  You can't see anything that might hinder me to do things.  The limp is gone, and I have no outward appearances of not being able to do things.  So, be patient, don't try to convince me that it would be the best thing for me...  I will know when that is so.  
Be patient...

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Is there such a thing as post stroke something?

So, that's quite a title huh?  I was watching the news this morning and they were talking about postpartum depression, and it got me to thinking...  "is there such a thing as post stroke something?"  So I googled it, and there it was...  Post-Stroke Fatigue.

It's been quite enlightening for me to know that being tired/fatigued is something that can occur after a stroke. So, what is post-stroke fatigue?  The following are some of the things I found out...

Post-stroke fatigue is not like typical tiredness.
Unlike usual tiredness, fatigue doesn't always improve with rest and it isn't related to how busy or active you've been.
After a stroke the brain is healing.
The recovery process takes up a lot of energy so it is normal to feel very tired.
Resting every day or nearly every day is necessary for the healing.
The signs of fatigue are not always obvious to other people, and they may not understand how genuinely exhausted you are.
The fatigue gets better, but it can take many months before it begins to lift.
It's important not to ignore fatigue.  It will get better, but will take time.
So, take it easy on yourself and don't force yourself to do all the things you used to do straight away.
Rest when you need to.

I was beginning to think that I had turned into a "wimp".  Being exhausted when I get home from work (my work is not physically demanding so why would I be so tired)...  I found out that I am not a "wimp", and this is a real thing.

My body and brain have both been through some trauma...  they need rest...  so, don't be surprised to catch me resting...  at home, in the park, at my desk...  I'm just catching up on my rest.  For healing purposes. Yeah, that's it...  but seriously, don't be surprised.

I feel good, I have no pain, I am just tired after a day of work.  it will get better.


Thursday, August 31, 2017

I have to remember...

Yes, I have to remember.

I have to remember that it was only 2 1/2 months ago that I had major surgery.
I have to remember that 2 1/2 months ago I had a stroke.
I have to remember that my body and brain are still recovering from all of that.
I have to remember that even though I feel GREAT, my body and brain are not healed completely.
I have to remember that it is okay to stop and do nothing.
I have to remember that I need to rest.
I have to remember that rest is good for the healing.

Yes, I have to remember.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Here it is...

I was thinking I would write a blog...  but now I am here my mind is going in so many directions that I don't have any idea of where to start.

So, let me just say that I have been less than I should be.  A lot less....

I have been frustrated, angry, felt abandoned... quite honestly I have been a mess...  emotionally a train wreck.  Yep!!!  That has been me this week.  It's such a strange feeling...  I feel so much better than I have in the last couple of years, and my hip is healing great with no more pain.  But, emotionally I am a mess.

I have so many appointments and tests and stuff...  that it has all just gotten to me.  What's going on?  and at times I don't get any answers.  What?  Why?  Do you care?  Yes, these are all questions I have asked. I have been less than cordial at times...  so not me...  I don't like me when I am like that.

I am spending more time in the Word, crying out to God, listening to music and just being quiet...  I really need a heart change, and there is only One that can help me with that.  I will be seeking and listening.  I could use your prayers as well.



Blessed and grateful for these:

I am so thankful for a husband that prays for me, and loves me in spite of me.  Thankful for our daughters that love me when I am unlovable, how they put up with me at times is beyond me.  And they scold me... go figure.

Thankful for friends and family doing for me when I can't do for myself.  I love you and appreciate you, not for what you do, but for the love you show me in what you do.  Your calls, cards, meals, visits, rides (many many rides).  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!