Quite the title, huh? Well, I have been trying for quite some time to wrap my head around a lot of things.... really not knowing where to begin. Or even what I was really looking for and needed.
I've been doing a lot of reading, mostly how to books... "What Happens When Women Say Yes To God", What Happens When Women Walk In Faith", "Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl", "Refresh Your Heart", and the list goes on and on... nothing really seeming to hit it for me. Not that these aren't great books, and great topics. They have helped me stay in the Word, and given me some insight, but I needed something else... what was it?
I saw an advertisement about a book written by Dr. David Dean, titled "Good Grief". A book he had written after his dear wife Dorothy had passed away. I have fond memories of them as they stayed with us a couple of times when David came and spoke at CBC, and we joined them camping one weekend at Alton Bay Campground for a Harvest weekend. I thought, why not read his book, I was having issues with this whole grieving thing... This has been the best book for me to pick up and read about the topic. He is so honest in his feelings, I actually read a couple of things to my David as they were issues that I was dealing with and didn't understand them. Wrapping my head around my grief... yes, that is one thing I really need to do...
Then at a WH&FMS board meeting recently, a book was brought up, and a new ministry suggested about women getting healthier physically... YES!!!! Well, it is something I need to do, and I would have great accountability partners... they would certainly keep me on my toes. I ordered the book titled "Fat Chance; Losing the Weight, Gaining My Worth" by Julie Hadden. It arrived this morning, and I have started my reading... What a great book! Her life seems a lot like mine... well, what mine used to be. Stay at home mom, putting everyone else first, and whatever was left of the day or whatever was for me... She is so honest... I am not very far into the book, but I have cheated and looked ahead at some exercises and healthy eating tips and recipes that I know I can put into practice now... this is another area that I have been trying to wrap my head around... How can I do this alone? I don't have too....
And the most important book that I have recently made a much bigger commitment to read is the Bible. I have been reading it every day, but I sometimes don't think about what it says, I go through the motions... I read it, put it down and move on to the next task at hand. Now, I have committed to not just pick it up and read it, but to take time and study what it says . Read the foot notes, really think about what is saying to me. This has been so good for me. I want to know what God's plan is for me, I need to wrap my head around what and who He wants me to be. I need to seek His will... not mine...
I've got a long ways to go.... and I will continue in my quest to wrap my head around what He has in store for me...
So these are a few things I am doing to wrap my head around it all... It's been a tough couple of years, and quite honestly I haven't been where I needed to be a lot of the time. I haven't known how to deal with me... I have distanced myself from those I love... I haven't been happy with me... I want to change, I will work on it, pray with me, pray for me, and I will continue in my endeavors to "wrap my head around it all".
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