This has been quite an experience....

For the past 5 to 6 weeks I have been dealing with some health issues that were really scary...  I only shared this with a few people.  I had been experiencing shortness of breath, pounding heart beat, trouble concentrating, and exhaustion.  For 3 1/2 weeks I knew I could beat this on my own, whatever it was...  only to see that that was not happening.  I could do nothing, literally.  The normal menial tasks of making the bed, doing the dishes, folding the laundry, sweeping the floor was such a chore that I would have to go and sit down to catch my breath and wait for my heart to settle down.  I had become afraid of what it could be.  But I was afraid to go to the doctor too because I didn't want to know what it could be...

But, David convinced me that I should go...  his constant "how are you feeling?" "I think you should go to the doctor."  He was very persistent.  And I listened finally, kicking and screaming all the way.

First step was the blood work...  and a 40 minute visit with the doctor.   Results, blood work was good.  Phew!  Second step three days later was a chest xray, and this is what scared me the most with family history and all.  Results, all clear.  A big sigh of relief there.  and then the third step yesterday was a stress echocardiogram.  I've got to admit that I was pretty stressed going for the "stress" test.  It ended up being a walk in the park...  well, kind of?  Result that same day...  heart is strong, no issues.
So now my question was...  "Why am I feeling like this?"  An answer I received was...  STRESS!

So when I had a little extra time this morning, I've been doing some reading on stress and a bit more...  and how does it make you feel?  Broken, useless, sick, weak, frustrated....  One of the articles I read was very interesting and hit it right on for me....  It was titled "Stressed Out,  Overwhelmed, Totally Exhausted."

I have looked up the definitions...  and yeah...    I was extremely overwhelmed with a task that needed to be dealt with, leading to being stressed out getting things done, and that leading to exhaustion.  I had a deadline to meet with this obligation...  on top of my job, working on this project until 7 or 8 at night 5 days a week, plus 12 to 13 hours on Saturdays for 4 to 5 weeks straight..  I was running on fumes...  I knew it, but thought when it was done I would be back to normal...  That did not happen... and  now here I am, sick and tired of being sick and tired....  and of being afraid of being sick and tired...

Stressed Out: suffering from high levels of physical and/or psychological stress
Overwhelmed: to have too many things to deal with
Totally Exhausted:  to tire extremely or completely

Now that I know that I am "healthy"...  no blood, heart, or lung issues...  I will be working on this stress thing...  relaxing...  napping (not during work hours)...  not taking on tasks that require to much thought or energy...  *chillin'*...  I need to feel better...  I need to get back to being me...

I knew stress was not good for you....  but I never realized how debilitating it could be....

Now, what's for dinner?