Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Lord, what do you want me to do?

This has been a question I have been trying to get an answer to for many years...  I am kind of impatient, and I would like to run with what I think I should be doing, you know helping God out ahead of time.  Done that, and it hasn't been pretty!

Let me back up a little...  I felt "called" of God to get involved in women's ministry when our girls were in junior/senior high school.  What did that mean?  I didn't know.  I had organized some get togethers and Saturday retreats at my home, fellowship, studies, prayer times....  That started many years ago, and the desire to work with women has only gotten stronger.  But what now? 

Fast forward to 4 months ago.  While sitting in a Missions conference meeting, listening to all the great things the women in the conference were doing...  I felt overwhelmed with a sense of God "calling" me to get involved, but what did that mean?  And then a need was brought before the group, and I asked for prayer.  As the day went on I felt so convicted that I could help with that need I took the step of faith, and said yes.  I was petrified, I must admit.  What did I just say yes to?  I HAD NO IDEA!  But, what I did know was that  God had orchestrated it all.  I was "called" to women's ministry, and I was answering that "call".   Four months later, and I still don't know what I got myself into.  And my question is still "Lord, what do you want me to do?" 

I have been immersing myself in the Word, reading books (and I don't like to read).  Lysa Terkeurst has become a favorite author.  I began reading her book "Becoming More Than A Good Bible Study Girl"....   "What Happens When Women Say Yes To God", and "What Happens When Women Walk In Faith" have made me stop and think BIG TIME.   They are personal and honest books, could be called "self help" books, but they have a study that goes along with them, and it gets you into the Word and challenges your thinking.  That's what I need as I try to get the answer to my question.  So, here I am today...  and after all these years....  and I'm still asking the question. 

This morning I was late to work.  I know, shame on me..  but I just couldn't stop doing what I was doing...  I was looking to God...  I have been challenged by my readings yesterday and then again this morning...  to spend time with Him, to cry out to Him, to stop and listen to Him, to quiet my mind and heart and hear  Him...  so as I sat by the lake, time got so far away from me...   I knew I was where I needed to be at that moment...  tears streaming down my cheeks, blurred vision....   thank you Lord....  and off to work I went...

Lord, I am here...  and I will wait on you...  what is it that you want me to do...  

2 Thessalonians 3:5  Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.

1 comment:

  1. Are you done with either of these books? Or would you be willing to lend one of them?