Today has been a day of reflection and remembering for me. I have this great devotional given me by a wonderful friend titled "Through a Season of Grief - Devotions for your journey from mourning to joy". It's not always an easy read, it makes me think and gives me things to do as I go through this grieving process.
Today's devotional title is "Losing a Part of Yourself". I've never really thought of it like that, I have made the comment that I am an orphan now, so I guess I was subconsciously thinking it. This is the first paragraph of the devotional, and I have read it over and over again, and yes, shed some tears..
"The loss of a close family member creates extra depth and complexity to your grief. You shared a special and intimate connection with your loved one, and this relationship helped define who you were. Losing this person has literally ripped you apart on the inside, leaving you unsure of your own identity."
And a question I have asked over and over is "How am I supposed to go on without them?" My teachers, role models, friends, cheerleaders, the ones that shared my private jokes, my listeners, and the list goes on and on... my parents are gone.... so who am I?
Should my identity only be found in them? No, but they have brought me up and been great role models.. So this is what I am going to do. I am thankful to God that I was born to these two special people to be my parents. But, that is not where my identity comes from, yes they were wonderful parents and I loved them dearly and miss them like crazy, but my identity can be found in Christ Jesus.
"If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love loves in God, and God in him"
1 John 4:15-16
Lord Jesus, piece me back together again with Your unfailing love. Amen.